Kill, Breathe, Repeat
by Argentum Anubis
Summary: What if the person who touched the Death Note and became its owner was possessed by a demonic need to kill? And if they didn't, it would be them who fell victim to the Note's powers? Light wasn't lying about the 13 day rule; it really was, in a way, like that. And now, he can't escape Kira.
1. Chapter 1- Get rid of it

Hello, everyone!

This is the first chapter of several for this fanfiction, so it is not going to sound completely right in the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or the geniuses who exist within the Death Note universe (I wish I did, though...).

* * *

It had been one week. One long, painful week.

With no Death Note around to kill people, yet his memories of it still intact, the pain was working its way up to the level of excruciating. It was while he was talking to Ryuzaki that he realized just how badly he needed to forget it, how bad the pain could get; he knew that he had told Ryuzaki not to release him until the detective was completely convinced that he, Light, was not Kira- and that could take all of eternity. But he would be dead before that time came.

"Light, you've only been here for one week; I'm sure it can't be easy. Are you feeling alright?"

 _I've got to get rid of my memories, or the pain will get too bad_ , Light thought, biting back a yell. "… Yeah. I must look pretty bad in here. But this useless pride... I suppose I'll have to… _get rid of it._ " He grunted the last few words as a new spark of pain made its way down his chest. He listened as Ryuk stood and left with a simple "Later."

And then it was gone: his memories, pain, everything.

He blinked rapidly and looked around at his surroundings. He began to try to reason with L, but to no avail.

* * *

Light did not know why he had asked to be put in solitary confinement in the first place. Here he was in the cell, with nothing to do, except think, sleep, and sit. He felt like a naughty child put in time-out.

He assumed it had been about three weeks since his imprisonment started, but he had no way of knowing for sure, outside of asking Ryuzaki. But at the moment, he did not feel much like having a conversation with the paranoid detective.

According to Ryuzaki, the killings had not yet resumed. Ryuzaki would talk to Light several times a day, checking on him to see how he was doing, and then question him about Kira. These inquiries angered Light greatly. No matter how many times he yelled up at the video camera that he was "NOT KIRA!" Ryuzaki still held onto his lingering doubt.

As expected, Ryuzaki began speaking over the comn at that moment, breaking through his thoughts as he stared through the metal bars, at the wall opposite him.

"Light-kun? How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Light replied shortly. He couldn't help but wonder is the long confinement period would somehow affect his social skills.

"Are you sure?" L pestered.

Light nodded, not in the mood to speak any more than he had to.

"Very well. So, have you changed your mind about your answer?"

Light shook his head again before glancing towards the camera, which was in the corner of the room, pointed directly at him.

"Do _you_ still believe that I am Kira?" he asked quietly.

There was a moment of quiet on Ryuzaki's end and Light could have sworn that he heard a small sigh.

"… Yes, Light, I do; there have been no killings and it has been twenty-three days. I'm afraid things are not looking very good for you and Misa-san."

He blinked in surprise as Ryuzaki mentioned the blonde-haired girl who was blatantly infatuated with him, remembering that he was not the only one locked away.

"How is she doing so far?"

"… Not the best," Ryuzaki replied truthfully. "But I believe she will be alright."

"And what about my father? Is he doing okay?"

There was silence for a moment as- he presumed- Ryuzaki spoke to Light's father.

"Yagami-san says that he is doing well and tells you 'hang on. It will only be a matter of time before Ryuzaki changes his mind and ends the surveillance.' Though, personally," the older male added," I disagree with the latter of the statement."

With that, the comn went dead again and their conversation was over.

Light shifted on the cold, concrete ground, leaning forward somewhat in order to stretch out his back.

 _This is such a waste of time!_ He complained mentally. _If only Ryuzaki released me, then when could go and hunt down the_ _ **real**_ _Kira. This killer must be trying to frame me. That has got to be it._

He leaned back against the frame of the cot as he thought.

 _But who would hate me enough to do this to me?_ He wondered _. It isn't like I have a lot of enemies- and none of those people know anything about the Kira case or my location._

 _So what is going on?_

He had no clue.

* * *

Ryuzaki sighed. It had been a couple of days- eight, to be exact- since the Kira killings had started again; Light had yet to admit to being Kira.

But Ryuzaki was starting to believe him, especially now that the murders were once again occurring on a daily basis.

He frowned as Watari set a plate of strawberry cake before him, mumbling a thanks.

Watari nodded and left.

The ex-police officers had left hours ago to follow up on a possible lead, leaving L alone in the control room.

Ryuzaki still suspected that Light _used_ to be Kira, but had a doubt that he still was _now_.

 _Could it be possible that he lost his memory? Or perhaps the power somehow left him as soon as he was placed under surveillance?_

He considered this speculation. There was about a 24% possibility of both. It was still far more likely that Light was Kira and merely bluffing so that he could be cleared of suspicion quicker.

But there was something… Light seemed genuinely positive that he was not Kira.

Ryuzaki's frown deepened as he lifted a forkful of cake to his mouth.

What was going on?

* * *

As I said above, there will be more chapters for this story. The next one will be up on this Friday.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. If you have any comments/complaints/compliments, please feel free to let me know.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2- Murder to live

**Hello, everybody. Here is the next chapter of Kill, Breathe, Repeat. With this particular chapter, it is closely following what happened in the anime/manga, so here is my disclaimer:**

 **I do not own Death Note, Light Yagami, L, Ryuk, Shinigami, or anything related to Death Note. I did not write this series or help create the anime/merchandise/games. I also do not own a Death Note or have Shinigami eyes.**

 **Another warning that I should have provided beforehand: THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS FANFICTION, SO IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE SERIES OR GOTTEN AT LEAST HALFWAY THROUGH IT, BE CAREFUL (I know the pain of having the biggest spoilers in Death Note being revealed to me... )':**

 **Now that that's over with, here is the new chapter. Enjoy :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2-Murder to Live**

It had been a very eventful day.

They were trying to capture Higuchi- or, rather- the current Kira, by using a faux "reveal of the real Kira" show on Sakura TV. While the businessman raced around town, trying to figure out Matsui- AKA Matsuda-'s real name, the task force and their allies, followed him in order to make sure that things went according to plan. Once Higuchi reached Sakura TV and realized the whole thing was a scam, he'd shot Light's father and had taken off, starting a car chase like one from an action movie Light had seen before. But thanks to the help of Aizawa, Ide, the Japanese police, and Watari, he was cornered and captured. When a headset was placed over the suspects head, Ryuzaki began with the question of "how do you kill?"

Higuchi had told them of a notebook, in the wrecked car that was in his work bag. Higuchi claimed that, when you have a name and face and you write that name in the notebook, the person would die.

Upon retrieving the notebook from the suspect's car, Soichiro turned around and promptly began to yell in an unprofessional, terrified manner, saying something about a monster. As he reached into his shirt to pull out his firearm, Ryuzaki- who was watching from the helicopter- reminded him that he was unarmed.

Light guessed that his father had been offered a gun, but turned it down, as citizens possessing guns was illegal in Japan and his father was a man of justice, much like Light.

When Mogi retrieved the fallen notebook, he had also begun to speak of an invisible monster. Mogi offered the explanation that "Only those who touch the notebook are able to see it."

Ryuzaki frowned over his cup of coffee. "Please bring that notebook to the helicopter," he said into his headset.

Mogi said, "Yes," standing and hurrying over to them as Soichiro remained on the ground, his head tilted up at something no one other than him and Mogi could see. "Ryuzaki, this is the notebook," the man said, holding it up for the detective to take. The chain jingled as Ryuzaki moved and picked up the notebook by the very edges. Then, he turned his head to look in the direction of the so-called 'monster' that Light's father and Mogi claimed to see.

 _Except this time_ , Light noted, _Ryuzaki seems to see something as well._

In disbelief, Ryuzaki murmured, "A Shinigami! They… really… exist." He seemed to take a moment to process the sight before him.

Light could take no more; the curiosity was driving him crazy. "Ryuzaki, give me the notebook!" He snatched it from the older males' hands. Ryuzaki continued to stare forward, slowly lowering his hands to his lap.

As Light touched the notebook, upon which the words "DEATH NOTE" were clearly inscribed, a flood of anguish pulsed through his body. A scream ripped from his mouth and his head throbbed as millions of things entered his mind: sounds, words, pictures, thoughts… memories.

And suddenly, he remembered everything.

 _I…am Kira? So Ryuzaki was right? How could I have forgotten? How could I kill millions of people… and then not even remember doing so?_

He looked down at the notebook in his hands, panting.

"A-are you alright?" Ryuzaki inquired from the pilot's seat of the helicopter. "Anyone would be frightened after seeing that monster."

"Ryuzaki," Light said suddenly, the pain from touching the notebook still coursing through his body.

"Yes?" Ryuzaki was obviously startled.

"Right now we need to check if the names here match those of the victims." He began to tap the keys of the computer he'd brought along, searching for the names.

"A-alright," Ryuzaki said, still somewhat unnerved. "If you say so…"

Light felt Ryuzaki's eyes on him, even as he found the first name.

 _How could this be? How could I have…?_

He distracted himself with the task of finding the names. "So far, all of the names match, and that is only for one page," he announced. "Should I check the whole book?"

"Yes," L replied, "otherwise we would not be positive if it was just coincidence."

Light nodded. _Typical Ryuzaki. Even after seeing a Shinigami, he still wants more proof._

A stinging sensation crawled across his chest and Light closed his eyes as it spread.

 _I'd almost forgotten about this- the pain. I'm going to have to…_

He sighed.

"Yagami-san, Mogi-san. Please take Higuchi and the _other_ to the police car, please."

"Sure Ryuzaki," Light's dad said.

Light knew what he had to do, but he didn't like it.

He pulled the knob on his watch four times, glancing over at Ryuzaki to make sure he wasn't being watched. A piece of metal slid out of the watch after he pulled it the last time. In it were a needle and a small scrap of paper.

 _All I have to do is kill Higuchi and the pain will go away,_ he thought, talking himself into his task. He hastily pricked his finger and etched Higuchi's name on the paper with the needle and his own blood.

As Soichiro and Mogi began to walk Higuchi towards a police vehicle- with Rem in tow- Higuchi stopped mid-step, clutching his chest and making a choking noise which came from deep within his throat.

"What's happening?"

"Dad, what are you doing?" Light yelled into his headset, pretending to be worried for the sake of the man whose name he had just written down 38 seconds ago. "We need him for a testimony! If he-"

"It's too late, Light," Soichiro said. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. He's already…" Light's father bowed his head, kneeling beside the now-still body of the businessman.

Ryuzaki nodded, glancing at Light. "Its fine, Yagami-san. There's nothing we could have done anyways."

Light looked away, sighing. He was relieved. The pain was gone, but he knew it was only for a short while.

It would only be a matter of time before it was back.

* * *

As I said before, this chapter followed the anime/manga pretty closely, so there wasn't really anything original. However, starting with the next chapter, things will start to change...

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to tell me what you though of it.


	3. Chapter 3- Worsening

**A/N:** Okay, so I know that the last 2 chapters may have been a disappointment, but I guess you could say that they were mostly just to establish time, setting, and my overall idea of the Note's effect when Light doesn't write names in it. Starting with this chapter, you will get to see a bit more of what is happening with Light and the notebook.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed (I really appreciate it!) and everyone who reads this fanfiction. Thank you.

Argentum Anubis does not own Death Note =(

* * *

 **Chapter 3- Worsening**

A week after Higuchi's death and the restoration of Light's memories of the Death Note, the task force was still studying the murder notebook, interrogating Rem- or, as Matsuda and Ryuzaki often referred to her, 'the thing'- and searching for any deaths connected to Kira.

The way that the Yotsuba Kira had died several days before had led to Ryuzaki forming several new theories.

The first pertained to the actual manner of his death: it had appeared as though a different Kira had written down his name and caused him to have a heart attack- that or he had written his own name in the Death Note, but L had ruled out this thought process after reading through all of the names in the notebook and not finding Kyosuke Higuchi's name anywhere in it, even though Ryuzaki was still adamant that it was possible that Higuchi could have used a scrap of paper to write his own name once he was caught without the having seen him do so: the second theory.

This other theory regarding scraps of the Death Note was right on target. Light hadn't expected for Ryuzaki to consider the likelihood that pieces of the note could be used to kill, but the moment that Ryuzaki found a piece missing, he had immediately began to question the female Shinigami about it.

 _Well he isn't the top three detectives in the world for nothing_ , Light admitted.

Whether or not there was another Kira, L was uncertain. However, he had deduced that, at the very least, there was another notebook. L wanted to get that notebook as well, in order to prevent there from being imitation Kiras. _But he will never find it,_ thought Light, imagining the hole in the middle of the woods where the book was buried.

Either way- whether there was in fact an active Kira or not- Ryuzaki had insisted that they search for any hints towards there being Kira killings.

Light, of course, knew that they would never find such evidence, as the scrap of paper he had used to kill the Yotsuba businessman was now disposed of and he was unable to further continue writing names at the moment. But if he said anything hinting towards these facts, Ryuzaki's suspicion toward him would return in full. So instead he helped scour every known source for the non-existent information.

Light was finding it hard to concentrate, however. Ever since his memories had returned in full, he had been suffering more and more torment each day. But after writing Higuchi's name, he hadn't had the chance to write another; Ryuzaki was still watching him closely, even though the others- after reading the notebook rules and learning that there was a 13 day rule which would have meant that he and Misa were supposedly innocent- insisted that he, too, should be released.

Misa had already returned to her normal life, but L wasn't going to let Light off as easily. He obviously still suspected the son of the ex-police, despite the new rule of the Note.

"Are you alright, Light-Kun? You have been staring off into space for several minutes now."

Light blinked and rubbed his face. "Yeah… just a little tired, that's all."

"Would Light-kun like to take a break and have some cake with me?" Ryuzaki offered,

 _No, not Ryuzaki. L. The very person I have to kill if I want to ever have a chance of living a normal life. I don't think Kira's thirst for blood will be satiated until L is gone, dead._

His head pulsated and he rubbed his temples to try and rid himself of the discomfort. "No thank you."

Ryuzaki shrugged. "Whatever Light-kun wants." He hit a button next to his computer. "Watari? Would you bring some cake please?"

"Right away."

* * *

After several hours of scouring different sources, trying to find connections between various deaths and Kira, Ryuzaki sat back in his swivel chair and got everyone's attention. "Good work everyone. We can stop here and resume our work in the morning."

"Yay!" Matsuda cheered, racing for the exit, despite the glare Soichiro sent after the childish man. Aizawa also seemed pleased to be able to leave.

 _Probably because this means he'll have a chance to say good night to his family,_ Light mused, glancing at his watch.

7:50 P.m.

He sighed, thinking of his own mother and sister, whom he had not seen for over fifty-something days.

The other members of the task force slowly filed out of the room. Light's father shot one last, worried look over his shoulder at his son. Light gave him a reassuring nod and his dad returned it before leaving. Light spaced out for a moment, staring at the door as it closed behind Mogi.

Ryuzaki interrupted his thoughts, pulling on the chain that connected the two of them. "Come, Light-kun. It has been a long day and I believe that it would be best if we got some rest, too."

When they left the room, Rem knew to stay behind, where the Death Note was.

Ryuzaki led the way down a hallway. Light followed absentmindedly. A wave of discomfort streaked through his nervous system and he had to take a deep breath and push it down. He grits his teeth in pain as he entered the bedroom behind Ryuzaki and shut the door.

 _I have to get him to end this surveillance… even if only for an hour. I don't care how suspicious it will look; I have to write down a name. Or I will die._

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! And just a warning: from this point on, things will start getting more OOC and follow the actual plot of the anime/manga less and less.

Thank you, my cherubs!


	4. Chapter 4- Pain

**A/N:** Okay, so I know it doesn't seem like I put up a new chapter, but in a way, I did; the chapter I was going to have as Chapter 5 I decided to actually join with chapter 4, in order to continue the conversation between L and Light. Sorry if I confused you guys…

* * *

 **Chapter 4- Pain**

Light said, "Ryuzaki" and the other male turned to face him.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"Can't we end the surveillance? I'm obviously not Kira; we caught Higuchi and since then, there have been no more killings by Kira. And the whole time that Higuchi _was_ killing criminals, I was either been in solitary confinement or tied to you." He raised the cuffed hand, the chain jangling as he did so.

"Yes Light-kun, I know this must be very frustrating for you. But I'm afraid that I cannot end the surveillance until I am 100% certain that you are not Kira."

"But what about the 13 day rule? If I were Kira, I would be dead by now."

 _I_ _ **still**_ _might just die, anyways, even though that rule is made-up_ , he thought, biting his lip as his muscles gave a small twitch. The pain became more and more uncomfortable as seconds passed and he began to pace back and forth, trying to force it back.

"Yes, I know. But…."

Light could hear Ryuzaki speaking, but it sounded far-away, like he was underwater, drowning in agony.

 _What's happening to me? It's never been this bad before…_

"If you wanted," Ryuzaki continued," I'm sure we could find or make some accommodations that would be more comfortable for you-"

Light, unable to contain it any longer, released a shrill scream, dropping to the carpeted floor of the bedroom. He could hear Ryuzaki yell his name- "Light-kun!"-and the shuffling of fabric as the other boy knelt down beside him, but he could give no reply. His nerves felt like they were on fire and he gasped for air; his lungs burned as his entire body went into overload. He could sense Ryuzaki beside him, asking him what was wrong and searching him for an injury.

 _I'm going to die_ , Light thought as he felt himself struggle to fill his lungs with air. But the oxygen wouldn't come. _I'm going to die…. And all because I couldn't contain my curiosity… because I had to pick up that notebook_.

Just when Light's vision was starting to fade and he thought he was going to pass out, die, the pain faded; just as suddenly as it had come, it was gone.

He coughed, sucking in air and opening his eyes.

"Light… kun?" came the small, frightened voice of Ryuzaki. Of L. The person Light- no, _Kira_ \- wanted dead.

Light shuddered. _How am I not dead right now?_

"Light." Ryuzaki's voice a little firmer, but a dip in his tone at the end of the word gives away just how deeply disturbed the genius is by what he just witnessed. "Please say something."

"I-it's alright… I'm f-fine," Light managed, panting.

He tried to sit up, but Ryuzaki forced him back down. "No, Light-kun. Whatever just happened can't be anything good. You need to stay here; I'll get Watari to send a doctor."

Light shook his head fiercely his already disheveled hair becoming even more so. "N-no, Ryuzaki. Please, don't."

Ryuzaki studied Light's face, his own seemingly emotionless. Finally, the unique detective spoke.

"You… know what that was, don't you? It's happened before."

Light's eyes widened.

L sighed. "I'll take that as a yes." He shifted so that he was sitting on his feet. "Light-kun, I'm not going to push, but what the heck was that? There is a very small percent of possibility that it was normal, whatever it was. After all, you are- physically- the picture of perfect health." He leaned towards Light. "So what was it?"

Light gulped, trying to come with an excuse, any excuse that would pass by Ryuzaki without making the detective even more suspicious than he already was. "Um…"

But he couldn't think of a single thing. Ryuzaki was smart. For god sake, he was as smart as Kira! How could he trick L when, even as Kira, he was always barely a half-step in front of him?

Besides, if he told a lie to blatant, it would put him back a step and he would be stuck under supervision for even longer. And that would mean he would have to wait even more time before he could write a name down.

He could die before he had the chance to write a new name.

Ryuzaki was staring intently at him, those black eyes underlined by deep bags piercing into his soul and daring him to tell, to admit to everything. To admit to being Kira.

But I don't want to be Kira! It's this… thing that has possessed me that wants this! And if I don't obey it, I die. If I don't write names, I die. If I don't lie, scheme, kill- I die. No matter what I do, I die.

 _So maybe_ , a small voice in the back of his head whispered, _I should tell him. He might save me_.

He spoke up. "Ryuzaki, I-"

The demon within him did not like his plan. Kira snatched the breath from his mouth and the words along with it. The pain returned, crescendoing even quicker than before. He screwed his eyes shut as the pain burned him alive. His mouth slipped open and his from his lips burst forth an animalistic scream.

 _It hurts_ was the only thing he could think. _It really hurts it hurts it hurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsITHURTS_ _ **IT HURTS!**_

He curled up in a ball, clutching his head. He dug his nails into his skin, but the pain from that was nothing compared to the other pain he was feeling. He was suffering and he once again found himself wishing it _would just end._

Tears began to well up and fall from his eyes and it took him a moment to process the fact that he- Light Yagami, proud son of Soichiro Yagami and Sachiko Yagami, the killer called Kira- was _crying_.

He groaned, "Ryuzaki…"

"Yes, Light, I am here," L responded.

"I…" he closed his eyes, attempting to push away the pain and call upon his remaining strength. "I am…"

"Yes, Light. You are…?"

Light moaned.

Kira really did not want this secret released. But Light was determined to tell, even if it killed him.

His eyes fluttered open and he saw L leaning over him, wide eyes even bigger in panic. He sat up quickly, grabbing the boy's shirt with both hands. Huffing, he said, "Ryuzaki. I am- I'm… Kira…"

L's eyes grew to the shape of boulders.

The suffering teen screamed, "I never meant for any of this!" The tears began to pour down his face even faster than before. "But I can't stop! I literally cannot stop, or it will-! "

He stopped, letting go of Ryuzaki's collar and clutching his own chest as a piercing pain appeared.

"What do you mean, Light-kun?" L demanded. "What do you mean by you 'cannot stop.' Why not?"

"I-It'll kill me! I've gotta write names in the note book- or it'll kill me!"

He released a shuddering breath, collapsing onto his side. His body went slack as all strength failed him. Tears continued to pour down his face. "Ryuzaki…"

"Yes, Light." Ryuzaki lowered himself so that he lay on the floor next to the auburn-haired male. It seemed that, while he had no clue what was going on, that the detective was going along with things.

"The notebook." He gulped. "The notebook… Once a person touches the notebook, it makes it so that they can't stop killing unless they forget that it exists."

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you everyone for all of your reviews and such.

 _Shoutout to Rainbow-Chan: Thank you so much for the advice! It really did help. Consider my confidence renewed! (=_


	5. Chapter 5- Curiosity kills

**A/N:** I'm sorry if I confused anyone, but I updated chapter 3 and 4, so if you haven't read the updated versions, it may not make sense (sorry).

* * *

 **Chapter 5- Curiosity kills**

"But what about me and the other? We touched it and we have not become murderers," Ryuzaki pointed out logically.

"That's because you weren't the first ones… t-to touch it…"

Ryuzaki frowned.

"The first… to touch- ah!" he winced in pain. "T-t-touch it…. becomes the owner. The owner is the one who... has to kill…" he winced.

"And if they don't kill," Ryuzaki deduced, "then _it_ kills them."

Light nodded weakly, the pain taking over his body.

"So, like I thought, the notebook is the true killer." L thoughtfully nibbled on the edge of his thumb. In the back of his mind, Light wondered why L seemed so calm. But then he noticed that the eccentric male was shaking badly. "The notebook makes a murderer out of normal people. The rules make it seem so interesting. Anyone would be curious and want to try it out, at least once." L ran his thumb across his lips. "And then, if the owner tries to break out of the possession- this happens."

As the pain subsided slightly, Light sat up slowly. "Ugh…"

"Light-kun!" L exclaimed. "Are you sure you should-"

Light interrupted him. "Ryuzaki, L- whatever your name is- please! Help me!' A tear trickled down his jawbone towards his chin. "I can't take it anymore; I don't want to kill."

Ryuzaki stared at him.

"Please," Light begged, pulling at Ryuzaki's shirt sleeve like a child, "Please help me. I d-don't wanna kill. I don't wanna be a murderer anymore."

"Light-"

The rest of Ryuzaki's sentence was drowned out by a rush of blood through Light's ears and head. The room around him spun and faded to black.

* * *

Ryuzaki was shocked when Light not only acknowledged the fact that he was indeed Kira, but also provided some explanations for the murder notebook.

But even that was not the most surprising thing.

The most surprising thing was that Light told him- knowing well enough that he would probably be executed for using the notebook in the first place- was that Light had asked him for help.

 _What do I do_? Ryuzaki wondered, gazing down at the panting form of the unconscious teen.

 _If I let him die now, no more Kira. But then that would make me no better than him. But … he said it himself- he had no choice; he would've died long ago if he hadn't continued killing._

He looked down as Light whimpered in pain.

 _Either way, I can't let him die. But how do I know that he will not kill me the moment he gets a chance so that he can go and write a name down. I can't allow anyone to get killed. But, by the look of things, if he doesn't write a name down, he will be the one to die next._

He frowned and bit his finger nervously as Light twitched on the ground beside him.

 _So… somehow I've got to break the ties between him and this notebook? But how do I do that? And how could anyone let such a thing exist- something that causes so much pain to anyone?_

Watching the unconscious teen, he pulled his cell phone out from his pocket and dialed a number. He grasped the cellular device by the edge with his fingers as the other line rang twice. Before it could ring a third time, the person on the other end picked up.

"I need your help," Ryuzaki instructed, giving the room number of the headquarters.

* * *

Barely six minutes later, the door to the room L and a still-unconscious Light were in opened and Watari walked in. The usually calm man was caught off-guard by the scene before him: L was crouched next to Light Yagami, who was sprawled on the carpeted floor.

"What happened?!" he demanded, kneeling next to the immobile teenager.

L shrugged, averting his gaze.

Watari frowned in suspicion, but cast it from his mind, thinking, _if he has something to hide, then I must trust that he has a good reason- he usually does_.

Watari put a hand to Light's neck, checking for his pulse. He brushed the hair away from the teen's forehead and made sure that his eyes were not dilated- they were not.

"He seems to be alright," he announced to L, who was chewing on his nails.

"What do you presume to be the diagnosis?"

The older man hummed, analyzing Light's condition. "I am uncertain. I will have to bring him to the clinic."

Ryuzaki nodded. "I understand. Please let me know when you have reached a conclusion."

Watari frowned, not quite understanding how the twenty-something year old detective could appear to be so calm when the person he had been slowly bonding with was lying on the ground beside him. "It is most likely sleep deprivation, exhaustion."

L nodded, unlocking the handcuff from his wrist and the wrist of the man he now knew to be Kira.

Watari raised a snow white eyebrow.

Ryuzaki, noticing the elder's bafflement, shrugged. "He is not 100% healthy; I do not think he will try to run away right now."

Watari nodded, gathering Light in his arms and leading the way out of the bedroom, followed by L. While Watari went to the first floor by using the elevator, to where the clinic was, L went to the operations room, saying "I will leave you to take care of Light-kun."

Watari watched the elevator doors slid shut, cutting off his sight of L's back as L walked towards the operations room, saying "I will leave you to take care of Light-kun."

As the elevator shuddered into motion again, Watari whispered, "I hope this case comes to an end soon."


	6. Chapter 6- No more Kiras?

**A/N:** Sorry for the late update, but ya know what they say: "Better late then never." Right? EnJoY!

* * *

 **Chapter 6- No More Kiras?**

When Light awoke next, his whole body was sore.

But he was alive.

 _How…?_

He weakly shifted his head to the side. His head was resting on something white and… fluffy?

Squinting, he focused his gaze and discerned a pillow. Beyond that, to his side, was a lamp sitting on a small, painted table which matched the plain white sheets he was lying on.

Moving his head to look the other way, he saw the same kind of table and lamp on the other side of the bed.

 _This is not the room I usually stay in…_ he realized slowly, sitting up.

The room he had been staying in with Ryuzaki (even though the two rarely ever slept, thanks to the detective's insomniac ways) was somewhat messy, with newspapers littering the bed tables and clothes on the floor from about a month of quick changes.

Light shifted, lifting his hand up to scratch at the top of his head as he made his best attempt to wake up and concentrate. However, he noticed something else different: the handcuff was gone and L along with it.

 _Maybe he got tired of sharing a room with a murderer_ , he mused depressedly. _He knows the truth now; maybe he doesn't feel safe around me anymore?_

He slid his feet out from under the covers and sat with his feet hanging just barely above the floor.

 _What happened after I passed out? I know I told him that I did not want to see a doctor, but… he looked pretty worried. If I die before I tell him any more information about the notebook and Shinigami and the murders, the whole Kira investigation will come to a complete standstill…_

 _He probably sent for a doctor_ , he decided. _It is the most reasonable course of action if you take everything into account and L is usually one to be logical._

The door behind him opened and Watari and Ryuzaki entered.

Neither one of the men appeared to be surprised that he was awake- _there are probably cameras in the room and they had probably been watching me and waiting for me to wake up_ , the younger male thought.

Watari was carrying a tray of medical equipment, which he sat on the nightstand. He pulled a chair up to sit in front of Light and picked the stethoscope up from the tray. The elderly man ordered Light to take deep breaths.

Ryuzaki sat in a crouch on the king-sized bed beside Light, staring at him as Watari checked his vitals.

Once Watari had completed the check, he looked at Ryuzaki.

"He seems to be perfectly fine at the moment, if a little run down. But that is to be expected, with the late hours you both have been staying up until, working on the case."

Ryuzaki nodded and the butler-like man left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Light waited a moment as Watari's footsteps faded down the hallway before inquiring, "Does he know?"

"About what?" Ryuzaki replied as he stood, hopping off the bed, and moving around the room, covering the cameras and deactivating the listening devices.

"… About Kira…"

"No, he does not."

"…"

Ryuzaki sat back down, this time in the chair that Watari had previously been in. "I decided to keep the information you told me in confidence and to have Watari give you a check-up, just in case. He is somewhat skilled at medical work."

Light blinked. "So… no doctors?"

"No doctors," Ryuzaki repeated in agreement.

"Thank you-"

"But if Watari or I decide that you do, in fact, require professional medical attention, we will not hesitate to acquire better help."

Light nodded. _I guess that makes sense, considering that I am the only possible lead he has for the case at the moment; in order to close the case, he needs Kira._

L pulled a multi-colored lollipop from his pocket and unwrapped the plastic cover from around it. "So," he said past the candy in his mouth, "how do you feel right now? Any pain?"

Light shook his head. "No. I feel fine at the moment. But, uh, Ryuzaki? Why are we not handcuffed together anymore? With what I told you before, one would think that you would be watching me even more closely, or that I would be in a cell or something."

Ryuzaki nodded, removing the rainbow-swirled pop from his mouth. "One would indeed feel that those steps would be necessary when dealing with someone claiming to be a mass murderer. But I do not believe that those measures are needed in this situation. Besides, if you were to try and escape, I feel that I would be able to restrain you. I'm stronger than I look, you know." He nibbled on the edge of the candy for a bit, thinking. His next question caught Light off guard. "When was the worse pain from this withdraw from killing?"

"Well… before I passed out was probably the worst so far. I mean, it has been a while since I've killed anyone."

"How long, exactly?"

Light averted his eyes in guilt. "About a week."

"A week…" Soichiro's son could almost sense the dark-haired male's mind working. "That would be around the time that we captured the Yotsuba-Kira… and he…"

Light provided him with the final piece in the line of thought, "I killed Higuchi."

Ryuzaki tugged on the side of Light's shirt sleeve. "But how? We were both in the helicopter at the time that it happened. Unless… I recall speaking to the female Shinigami a few days after Higuchi-Kira's death. Is it possible to kill using only a scrap of the note's paper?"

"That is how I did it, yes."

Ryuzaki licked the candy, returning to his thoughts. "So it was not another Kira or the second Kira…" He trailed off, twisting his neck in an owl-like motion to examine Light's face. "So tell me, Light: who is the second Kira? And are there more notebooks in our world?"

"I only know of two notebooks: the one in the main operations room, and then another that I hid before being put in confinement."

"Of course. You wouldn't want it to accidentally fall into anyone else's hands, even if they weren't able to become the owner; it is definitive evidence that could be held against you. And what of my first question? Or are you unwilling to answer? I feel 73% certain that you have met with the second Kira at least once. The last video tape that Kira number two sent to Sakura TV is proof of that; no one would say that they were giving up on meeting their idol unless they had already done so."

 _I guess it can't hurt to tell him now. Especially since Misa has no recollection of what she did… Besides, it's too late to turn back now. And I need his help._

"Well, I can't say you are wrong there. You've been right about almost everything in this investigation, actually."

Ryuzakis' eyes widened. "So that means that-"

Light nodded. "Misa Amane, the second Kira, found me in Aoyama- even though I didn't know it- and then she showed up at my house a few days after. But," he added, "She is no longer the second Kira. She must have given up the notebook after the pain became too much."

"Ah. I see. So when she was begging for someone to kill her when she was confined, it wasn't us she was talking to, or even us who were the _reason_ she wanted to die; it was the withdraw." Ryuzaki bit the remaining candy off of the stick as he spoke aloud his conclusion. "And now she is no longer Kira number two. Kira number three is dead, by your- the original Kira's- hands. And the two murder notebooks that we have knowledge of are out of the hands of anyone who may use them. So there is no longer an active Kira. Am I correct in assuming this?"

"Yes, you are. And from what I have learned about Shinigami, I don't think we'll have to worry about many more notebooks. The first only came to our realm because of that Shinigami owner's boredom. Most of these death gods sound like they are pretty lazy."

"And this works in our favor."

They fell quiet, Ryuzaki silently chewing on the stick from his now-gone candy, with Light watching him, curious to see what the genius would say next.

Throwing the lollipop stick into a trash bin beside the chair, Ryuzaki cleared his throat. "We should probably head to the operations room, but before we do that, I need to tell you something."

Light stood. "What is it?"

"You were asleep since last night, when you passed out. It is already the afternoon. I told your father, as well as the rest of the team that you were not feeling well and had decided to get some extra rest. They still do not know that you are Kira, either. Please keep these things in mind. However, if you are in pain, let me know right away and I will have Watari come. Understood?"

"Come on, Ryuzaki, I'm not a kid."

"I never said you are one. Oh, and also: you probably want to change, so I had Watari bring some of your clothes. They are in the closet. I will head down to the main room. Go ahead and change and meet me there."

"Alright," Light said, opening the wooden doors and assessing his choices in attire. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

The door on the opposite side of the room clacked shut and Light allowed himself to release a shaky breath.

 _Everything is going to be alright. I just have to remember not to let slip that I am Kira and be careful what information I discuss with whom- just like before._

Light leaned against one of the closet door. _So why do I feel so apprehensive?_ He wondered.


	7. Chapter 7- A fading case

**Chapter 7- A fading case**

Once Light had changed and washed up in the adjoining bathroom, he walked to the heart of the headquarters where the others were. When he entered the room, the others were quick to notice him. Matsuda tapped his father's shoulder and Soichiro turned around, a relieved expression crossing his face as he saw his son.

"Light."

"Hi, dad," he greeted.

Soichiro pulled his son off to the side, away from the others; the other men seemed to understand that the father and son needed a moment, so they shuffled away, discussing details of the case.

"Are you alright? Ryuzaki said that you were getting some rest, but I don't think you look quite so healthy."

Light held his hands up. "Relax, dad. I'm just feeling a little off, that's all. Nothing that a little rest can't handle."

"Why don't you take some time off? The investigation is going a little slow right now, so it wouldn't hurt if you took a vacation."

"No, dad. I can't do that. This case is important; I can't just quit. Besides, I'll be more careful from now on about getting enough rest. So don't worry about me."

His dad frowned. "Fine," he relented, turning away. "Just keep your health in check."

Light whispered a small, "Phew."

 _That didn't go as badly as I expected. He must be tired himself; usually he doesn't give up that easily._

He squinted, observing his father's abnormally sluggish movements. Anyone who hadn't known the man for a long time would not notice it, but Light did.

Giving a small smile, he rejoined the group, thinking, _he always worries about me when he himself needs attention._

The smile was wiped from his face as he remembered his previous worries. _Will he still care what happens to me once he finds out that I am Kira?_

The task force fell back into their usual rhythm after a short while; the room became quiet, with the exception of the flipping of papers, scratching of pens, and clacks of keyboards being tapped on.

Abruptly, Matsuda gasped, straightening in his swivel chair. "Hey! Everyone, look!" The others rushed to crowd around the man. Matsuda pointed at the computer screen. "See? Could this be a Kira victim?"

L pushed Matsuda's chair to the side. "Hm…" He silently scanned the police report on the screen, his eyes rapidly moving back and forth.

The reports consisted of information regarding the mysterious death of an American businessman named Kyle Gravely. Gravely had been arrested for the suspected murder of several of his business associates, including his secretary, who he had been having an affair with. Three days before the current date- November the twelfth- he had died in his Los Angeles prison cell after committing suicide. The man had left behind a note.

"I would be amazed if Kira does not smite all of the criminals in the world," Light read, quoting one part of the suicide note.

"See?" Matsuda said eagerly. "Couldn't it be possible that he was killed by Kira? I mean, there were those notes at the beginning of the investigation that Kira forced the prisoners to write before they died."

"No."

The task force turned to face Light.

Soichiro raised a grey eyebrow inquisitively. "What do you mean, 'no', son?"

Matsuda frowned at the suicide note, as though there were some part of it that he had read incorrectly that would refute his theory.

Light winced. _I forgot- I can't just come straight out and say 'Kira didn't make him write that note because I am Kira and I haven't been killing criminals lately.' So… now what do I…?_

"Um, what I mean is, I don't think that Kira killed this man."

"But why would you say that?" Aizawa said impatiently.

"Well-"

Ryuzaki cut in, saving Light the awkwardness of trying to scrounge up an excuse. "-What I believe Light-kun is trying to say is that, while Kira has had criminals leave notes before their deaths, this note has no correlation to those others. Not to mention the likelihood of it truly being fear of Kira that led to the suicide is very high."

"How high?" Mogi inquired, breaking his usual stoical silence.

Ryuzaki tapped his pointer finger to his lower lip. "About 93%."

Matsudas' shoulders dropped in disappointment. "So I didn't find a Kira victim."

"I'm afraid not."

"Good work, though, Matsuda-san," Soichiro commended.

They stood for a few moments, still congregated around Matsuda's computer, listening to the whirring of the technology.

Matsuda piped up in a hopeful tone, "Ever since the Yotsuba Kira died, there haven't been any more clues… Maybe he was the only one and the case is over?"

"Come on, Matsuda. You know we want it to be over, just as much as you do," Aizawa said tiredly, rubbing the palm of his hand across his eyes. "But we have to be certain that Kira is gone. Or else he could show up again out of the blue and wreak havoc."

Ryuzaki nodded. "Aizawa-san is correct. We must continue to make sure that Kira is no longer active. However, in the meantime, I feel it would be safe for you all to return to your normal lives."

Light's father perked up at this. "So does that mean all of your suspicions of Light are gone?" Soichiro asked.

"Hm…" Ryuzaki eyed the teen in question. "Yes. I suppose most of my previous thoughts have been cleared up."

Light had to restrain himself from snorting in amusement at the carefully worded reply L had provided his father.

 _Most of his previous thoughts… In other words, he knows the truth about everything._

Soichiro Yagami breathed a sigh of relief, squeezing the younger Yagami's shoulder in delight. "Finally… finally my son has been cleared as innocent." He looked down at Light who was wordlessly allowing his dad to continue on with his ignorant reaction. "You can come back home, return to school, and live a normal life like you were before-"

"Actually, Mr. Yagami," Ryuzaki interjected nonchalantly, "even though Light is now indeed cleared of any distrust I had previously felt towards him, I was hoping to keep him here so that we might continue working on the case together. "

He unwrapped a piece of hard candy and put it in his mouth, looking at the Yagami men and patiently waiting for an answer as though he had just asked them to go to the store and pick up a carton of milk.

"But Ryuzaki! Light finally has a chance to be normal and go to college. Why should he have to stay and continue working on this case? You yourself said that we could all return to a schedule more like our normal life!"

"That I did. However, Light is the only one within this group whose cognitive ability is on par with my own. With both myself and Light-kun collaborating on this case, I feel confident that we consider it closed quite soon."

Soichiro still looked like he wanted to protest. Grumbling, he turned to his child. "If Light is willing to continue working as a member of the task force, then I see no problem with it."

Light stood, fists clenched. "I want to continue."

Ryuzaki gave a nod of finality. "Very well then. We shall continue as we have been for the past few months."

Matsuda still was somewhat confused. "So… what should we be focusing on? Are we still searching for victims or what?"

L withdrew another hard candy from his pocket.

 _How many of those does he have? Nah, it doesn't matter._

"Well, yes. We will continue searching for victims. As will we be keeping an eye out for Kira. But there are not many more places to search for an answer. We need to find a clue- and soon. Or else, there will be no way to continue the case."

Aizawa glared at L. "End the case?!"

"Now, Aizawa. Let him finish!" Soichiro told him.

"Yes sir." Aizawa sat down.

"Thank you, Yagami-san," Ryuzaki said before continuing. "As I said already, if we do not find a lead soon, I will have to announce it as an unsolvable case. I have many other cases that I have been asked to work on. I am considering taking on a few of them, since this case is going slowly. My abilities are needed by many others."

Light faced away from the others so that he could allow the frown on his face slip past his barriers. _He can't possibly think of ending the case! What is he- why would he… I… maybe if were to let them know that I am Kira, they could end it?_ He gnawed on the inside of his cheek. _What should I do?_

Mogi and Soichiro nodded. "That is understandable," Mr. Yagami commented. "After all, you are the world's best detective, so it makes sense that you would be busy."

"Thank you. Well… shall we get back to work, then?"

There was a chorus of agreements.

As the others returned to their work, Light numbly returned to his seat and stared straight forward at the screens that portrayed different broadcasts of video cameras in prisons and at the headquarters.

 _What should I do? If I remain silent and don't tell them that I am Kira, the case will be decided as unresolved and the task force will be disbanded- not to mention, I would probably lose L's cooperation and he won't be able to help me with my problem. But… if I tell them that I'm Kira, I could not only be disowned by my father, but the task force will most likely want me executed._

He pressed his hands against his temple.

 _Either way, it is a big risk. What should I do?_

"Are you okay, Light-kun," questioned Ryuzaki, his voice serious. He was obviously concerned that Light could experience another ordeal like the one from the previous day.

"Yeah, fine; just a headache."

"Maybe you should go back to the room and rest?"

Light nodded, standing up. Halfway across the room, he stopped as his name was called.

"Light? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go and turn in early. I'll you tomorrow."

"Oh. Alright, son. Sleep well."

Only the man known as Ryuzaki noticed Light's quickened pace as he hurried from the room.

* * *

 **A/N** : I would like to ask you, the reader, what your opinion of the story so far is. Does it annoy you the way things are explained? Do the characters seem overly OOC (Out Of Character)? Does the plot line seem forced at all?

Please feel free to tell me your opinions. All reviews are appreciated.

And also, something else that I need to mention: **I will now begin updating only once a week, on Fridays**. This will (hopefully) prevent me from updating late and allow me to publish longer, better chapters.

Thank you.


	8. Chapter 8- The one called Kira

**Chapter 8- The one known as Kira**

 _I hope Light is alright_ , L thought as he slowly walked down the hallway, to the door at the far end where he and Light were now staying. He had dismissed the task force unusually early, as he had been worried for Light Yagami's health.

However, Watari had not contacted him yet, so he felt it was safe to say that Light was fine. But L still wanted to make sure with his own two eyes.

He quietly slipped into the bedroom, careful to silently close the door; if Light was sleeping, he didn't want to wake the teen. However, when L turned away from the door, he made out the form of his friend, standing in front of the window.

 _Hmm…_

He stayed still, observing Light from the dark.

 _I wonder what is going through his mind right now. Does he plan to continue killing? Does he want to kill me anymore? Did he ever really even want to kill me?_

And it was then that Light swallowed hard and spoke aloud.

* * *

An hour after leaving the others to return to the room he had woken up in that morning, Light stood in front of the bedroom window, gazing out at the full moon- which stood out amongst the stars, making them appear insignificant in comparison.

"How can everything about people- how they talk, treat one another, and act- be changed by one human, yet the actual world cannot be influenced by any _one_ person?"

The shadows in one of the corners of the room shifted and Ryuzaki trudged forward, his hands in the pockets of his jeans and his rounded back hunched forward.

"I do not know, Light-kun."

Light turned his head slowly; he had been startled by the older male's arrival, but did his best not to let it show.

"Light…" Ryuzaki began, slowly as though afraid the other would be scared away by whatever way of thought was in the genius's brain. "When you were killing criminals, were there any specific thoughts you had about it? What I mean is, did you feel there was a good reason for it."

Light stared at the night sky as he spoke; Ryuzaki joined him. "When I first began using the Death Note, it felt like I had been chosen by some deity who had noticed me and decided to bestow a magnificent gift, magnificent powers, upon me."

"I see. So you felt special?" Ryuzaki lifted one foot up to scratch at the other ankle with his big toe, all while maintaining his balance and keeping his hands in his pockets.

"It was more than that. It was like… even though it was a godlike power, I felt like by having that unbelievable power I would somehow _become_ a god myself. By ridding the world of those I deemed 'corrupt' and 'evil', I believed that I could rule over the world as a righteous savior, rescuing the world from itself. I was so drunk on these beliefs and the abilities that the note granted me that I never even understood just how _wrong_ it was. How wrong _I_ was."

Ryuzaki nodded, silently telling Light to continue.

"And then, when you had the cameras in my room, trying to prove that I was Kira… it was then that I discovered the pain of the death note. After a few days, I'd decided that if I _had_ to kill, or else perish myself. After that I learned the cruel fate of having to bring an end to the lives of others."

Light trailed off, his throat closing up. Ryuzaki pat him on the back in an awkward attempt to comfort the boy. Clearing his throat, Light forced the words forward. "It was after that when I began feeling guilty for the names in the notebook. None of those people had to die, yet they did. Because of _me_."

"Because of Kira," Ryuzaki corrected.

"Because of Kira… the murderer inside of me whose thirst for blood was insatiable, whose ideals and desire to show everyone their righteousness. I came to hate the one inside me. The one known as Kira." Light turned from the window and sat on the edge of the bed.

Sighing, Ryuzaki mirrored his actions. "Look, Light-kun. I cannot tell you that you are innocent or that you should not feel guilty for the things you have done. I cannot even say whether or not I would have done the same if it were me in your situation. But I _can_ tell you this: you did the right thing by asking for help; together, you and I can work to rid the world of the Death Note, Shinigami, and the ones called Kira. For good."

Light let his head fall forward; his hair covered his eyes. He considered everything for a moment. "Yes. I may not be able to take back my actions, but at the very least, I should prevent more deaths by a pen to a page in the death note."

They sat together for a while longer, staring out of the clear glass window, at the beautiful city night scene before them.

At last, Ryuzaki broke the silence. "Come, Light-kun. Let us sleep so that we may be well-rested for tomorrow. If you are too tired again in the morning, your father will want an explanation. Tomorrow we will work towards riding this world of death notes."

He crawled across the bed, to his own side, as Light pulled himself up the rest of the way onto the mattress.

For a moment there was a shuffling as they adjusted the sheets and pillows to their preferences. Once they were comfortable, the room was quiet once more; the only exception were the gentle sighs and yawns as their breathing grew slower as they drew nearer to sleep.

Light had almost fallen asleep when he remembered something. "Ryuzaki?"

Silence for a moment and then, "… yes, Light?" murmured a drowsy man.

"You know that I'm Kira and even unlocked the handcuffs. So why have we still been sleeping together?"

Ryuzaki rolled onto his side, his barely open eyes fluttering in tiredness. "Because I like being with you."

Yawning, Light closed his eyes.

"So do I."

* * *

 **A/N** : Unfortunately this chapter did not turn out as long as I had planned. Hope the POVs (Points Of View) were not too confusing. In case they were, I will include a quick explanation: the first section is from L's POV, while the second part is Light's.

Also, a question for those of you who write using this site as well: is anyone else having problems when trying to upload files to the doc manager? This is the first time I've had trouble with it so I don't really know what is wrong or how to fix it (I've been using the Copy-N-Paste method instead). I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.


	9. Chapter 9- Advice from a friend

**Chapter 9- Advice from a friend**

 **A/N** : Okay, so I apologize in advance; I was trying for a longer chapter, but then it ended up being _way_ too long and I had to divide it into separate chapters...

* * *

L woke up to golden sunlight streaming through the window and dancing through his eyelids. Inhaling through his nostrils, he opened his obsidian eyes and turned his head to the side. On the bed beside him was Light. He, like L, was still wearing the same clothes he had been the day before; they had been too tired the previous night to bother with changing into pajamas. In his sleep, Light Yagami looked like the totally innocent teenager that everyone believed to be.

 _But in truth, he is more guilty than the rest of us are._

Kira's bangs covered his eyes; he hadn't had a haircut since before he had been put under 24/7 surveillance and it had grown out, though nowhere near the length of L's own locks. L reached over, brushing the hair from Light's face.

 _He looks so much more relaxed when he is asleep_ , L thought, admiring Light. Light's skin was several shades lighter from his months indoors, without sunlight. L sighed, remembering the tennis match he and Light had played at To-oh University. L, though usually not one to ask for things he knew he couldn't have, thought, _I wish we could play another match._

Light was even more lean in shape now than before, as well. L could make out his thin form through the plain white long-sleeved shirt Light was wearing.

L rolled onto his side, resting his head on his elbow. Absentmindedly, he began to run his fingers through Light's straight hair. He watched Light's calm features as the boy slept.

 _He looks so…_

Light's eyelashes twitched as his eyes moved beneath their lids and L retracted his hand before the sleepy brown eyes became visible. L watched as Light took a moment, blinking to clear away the sleep, to wake up. Light groaned "Hnnn?"

L raised one side of his lips. "Good morning, Light."

"Hm? L…? What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing." L hastily sat up straight, pushing away the sheets.

Light watched him. The son of Soichiro Yagami did not look like he believed that L had been doing 'nothing', but he let it fly. After all, L had a lot of strange behaviors and if he questioned them all… well, there would not be enough time to ask about all of them.

Light raised his wrist to eye level in order to read his watch. "It's 8:15. We had better get dressed."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot to tell you." L scrambled to his feet. "Yesterday, after you left, we – the other task force members and I- agreed to begin meeting around 10:00 every day, instead of 8:30."

Light's lips formed a small 'o.'

"Why don't I have Watari bring us something to eat, since we have time today?" Not even waiting for a reply, he took his cell phone out of his back pocket and dialed a number. "Yes. Watari, could you bring Light and I something to eat. Yes. Alright. Thank you." He set the phone down on his nightstand. "Watari will be here shortly with some breakfast."

Light leaned back against the pillows.

When L looked over at him a few minutes later, a distant looked had glazed over the other's brown eyes.

"Are you okay, Light? I sense that there is something troubling you."

"I'm worried," Light admitted slowly. "What will my father and the rest of the task force do when they discover that I was the one behind all of the murders?"

"So that was what last night was about."

"Huh?"

L looked up. "Last night, you said that you had a headache, and then that you were going to bed early. However, when I returned to the room, you were not sleeping. I felt that something was weighing on your consciousness and had considered leaving. And then you spoke aloud and I felt that I could perhaps ease your mind, but… now I know that it wasn't just the people you killed that you were upset about."

The teen ran a hand through his auburn hair. "I already expect my father to be angry probably even disown me; the members of the Kira task force will call for my execution. But all I want to do is prevent more deaths. I have to be certain that another Kira will not appear. However… if they don't find out, the case is as good as over. We've reached a dead end." He began pacing the room. "With the information that I have, we wouldn't really be able to continue the investigation, since I am the original Kira, but at the very least we would be able to confirm that there are no other Shinigami or death notes."

"I see. Well. You shouldn't worry so much about their reaction. If you ask me, I don't think that it would be as bad as you think it would be."

Light flopped down onto the bed. "L…"

"I believe that everything will be fine. Besides, you still have an 87% possibility of going to jail instead of being killed," L said with his usual tact.

"…Thanks, I think."

He patted Light's hand. "Just don't worry. No matter what happens, I will help you."

* * *

Watari lightly rapped his knuckles on the solid wood door, carefully listening until he heard the "come in" from L. He did so, pulling the small cart behind him.

L and the Yagami child were sitting on top of the blankets on the bed, which Watari had made only a few days before. They seemed to have been talking before he came, for they both shifted, evading eye contact with the oldest man in the room. Watari discretely smiled to himself as he looked between the two. _They don't even completely realize it yet…_

Light's eyes widened as he saw the food on top of the cart.

A box of 12 varied types of donuts; a plate of scrambled eggs; a plate of toast; butter; jams of different types; mugs of water, tea, and orange juice; and different fruits- mostly strawberries and bananas- all sat on the cart.

Though thoroughly amused at the teen's reaction to how much food there was, Watari's mustached face remained professionally blank while he handed the donut box to L.

"Thank you, Watari." L slid a finger under the small opening in the lid of the box and pulled it up. He raised a glazed [pastry] to his mouth and licked it; he observed Watari as the man pushed the cart to Light's side of the bed.

"You may select whatever you like, Sir," Watari said in reply to the teen's quizzical expression.

Light stared for a moment before reaching for the plate of eggs.

"Would you like toast with that?" inquired Watari.

Light nodded.

"And jam?"

Another nod of the head. "Strawberry, please."

Watari spread the red jam across the toast in a very butler-like manner before handing it to Light. "Wil there be anything else, sirs?"

"No, Watari," L said, finally taking a bite of his now-glaze-free donut. "That will be all for now."

Giving a single nod, Watari exited.

Light glanced over at L as he began to scoop eggs onto his fork. "Do you ever eat anything healthy, Ryuzaki?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me then: what?"

L pointed a sticky finger at the cart between the bed and the window. "Strawberries."

"Aside from strawberries- which, may I remind you, are usually on top of a large piece of cake."

L nodded to concede his point. "Indeed they are. Good memory, Light-kun. However, you forget one thing: I also indulge in cherries."

Light laughed and L gave him a puzzled look as he nibbled on the chocolate covering his new donut.

* * *

 **A/N** : I do not know if eggs and toast are common foods in Japan or not. For the most part, I was just thinking about L and the scene where he had donuts when I recalled Beyond Birthday's obsession with jam… Jam led to toast… toast led to eggs… and voila: a breakfast scene with L and Light.

And you might be wondering _what is this "it" that Watari thinks L and Light don't know?_

Heh heh heh… not tell-ing! XD (Not yet, anyway)


	10. AN regarding chapter 10 (please read)

Hello, all.

This week I will, unfortunately, be unable to publish chapter 10 of this story due to unexpected personal matters.

Please forgive me; I know readers abhor this sort of thing, but this is something that cannot be avoided. I am **not** dropping this story and I will continue publishing it as soon as things are taken care of.

Sorry and thank you.


	11. AN- Good news!

Dear readers,

A thousand apologies for the wait. Due to many circumstances, I have been unable to continue this story for a long while.

However, I have started to look over my notes and am planning to continue this story soon. Likely, I will start my return to this story by making small corrections to previous chapters.

Keep an eye out for corrected/new chapters.

Again, sorry for the wait.

Thank you, all.


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